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Thursday, April 2, 2009

Who Does Michelle Obama Think She Is, Anyway? The Queen of England?

Who does Michelle Obama think she is, anyway? The Queen of England?

Well no, actually, she's a lot better than that. She's the First Lady of the United States of America. And nobody gave her the job when she was born -- she's had to work hard all her life, as a member of an excluded minority group that's always been persecuted in this country. You know, just like the Irish have been in the UK.

Okay, okay, I don't like the English Royalty. I don't really like the English people, if the truth be known. But if they would simply pay me for the land they stole from my family, with interest, my attitude towards them might warm.

The press loves a lot of silliness, and maybe it's OK because everything is so awful with the worlds' economy. So today we learn that when Michelle Obama was standing next to the Queen of England, Michelle put her arm around that little old lady's shoulders, just like everybody does when they are standing right next to an 80-year-old woman. Maybe we instinctively know their balance is shot, or someone could bump them, so it's a protective gesture. But some in the silly press gasped at the sight of a peasant "touching" the Queen.

(From left to right: Mr. Michelle Obama, old lady, MICHELLE OBAMA, old man).

Now I understand why the English lost their Empire. They are so inbred and bloodless, and have such silly rules: don't touch the Queen. It's like she's a good luck charm, and Michelle's headed for the crap tables.

The Queen (or the Queen's people) said it was actually fine that Michelle put her arm over the Queen's shoulders. I'd love to have seen them say something different. I'll bet any poll in England today would show Michelle Obama has approval ratings through the roof.

Here's the silly song the English sing about the Queen. It's embarrassing. It sounds like something that's appropriate for an old grey-haired lady in funny hats. Well, you know what I mean. It's not modern. And to make it worse, those pathetic toe-licking traitors in the occupied territory known as "Northern Ireland" haven't even bothered to get their own song -- they sing this too. Not so much in the real Ireland.



And another thing. I don't like the idea that these silly English people make all the rules about who can do what, whether you can shake someone's hand or not, and everytime this old lady walks into a room they play that vapid song. Maybe Michelle Obama needs to get her own song. And play it loud. Then we can all sing along and shout-out the English.

Here's my suggestion for the official anthem for our First Lady. As well as a warning to people abroad: we really like Michelle, so you'd better treat her like a Queen. If you know what I mean. So here's a song for our First Lady, by our own Queen of Soul, Aretha Franklin:

4 comments:

  1. RE: "Okay, okay, I don't like the English Royalty. I don't really like the English people, if the truth be known. But if they would simply pay me for the land they stole from my family, with interest, my attitude towards them might warm."

    What about the land that the mighty USA 'stole' from the Red Indians?

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  2. Want to give any specifics on why you don't like the Queen? She doesn't actually have any power today, just a historic figure. Since your country doesn't have any history (and the little it does actually involves the English) it’s not surprising that you don't understand.

    God save the Queen.

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  3. Anonymous: I don't like any royalty. The entire system is absurd. They have stolen money from the rest of the world, now prance around in their little furs and jewels and pretend that they are better than everyone else. The English royalty is no different from the Wall Street criminals: thieves, plunderers, criminals. So no, I don't like the queen or her relatives. But if England wants to have royalty, that's their business. As far as the English press making a big stink because Michelle Obama put her arm around the Queen, an old lady, presumably simply a gesture of kindness, that was quite insulting of them to the first lady of the U.S.

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