If Perez Hilton calls Miss California a "Dumb Bitch," can I call Perez Hilton a "Stupid Fag?"
Apparently not at Truthdig, one of my favorite blogs. Their comment moderator sent my comment, described above, to the dustbin. They put in writing that Perez Hilton called Miss California a "Dumb Bitch," and also posted the video of him saying it. [They weren't approving of it, just posting it]. But for my response, in which I just raised the question of whether, if Perez Hilton can call Miss California a "Dumb Bitch," can I call him a "Stupid Fag," they decided no, I couldn't do it. They would not post my comment.
So here's the question. Is it that male thing again? Some protective gathering of the male-klan to protect each other, even their members of the homosexual variety, from the slings and arrows of women? Is it that old idea that men can do anything they want to women, but they must make sure women never, ever, stand up for their own kind? We must remain subjugated and silent? Is that what's going on?
Because otherwise, I can't see any difference. And that's the point I was trying to make. It is not okay for any man ever, in any context, in public or in private, to call any woman a Dumb Bitch. That phrase, all the nasty words used against women -- slut, whore, cunt, bitch -- all of them are foreplay to the violent men in our society who punch, kick, beat, too often murder women in order to control them.
Given the history of violence against women in this society, given the astonishing ongoing levels of violence against women, given that women continue to be excluded from equal opportunity in hiring and promotion, given that women are largely excluded from representation in the Senate and House in numbers reflecting their 50% citizenship, but instead only get a token to keep the little ladies happy, given that women continue to have 1/3 of their earnings ripped off the top and pocketed by some white male, given all that, is it really appropriate for men to continue to call out violent and degrading terms to women at random? Aren't we treated badly enough in this society that maybe somebody could give us a break on the nasty name-calling?
Women pretty much hear and see that our society considers them useless, worthless, discards every day of their lives from the time they are born. They are branded as inferior, stupid, property, desired for sexual reasons, breeding and household work but still largely treated like slave labor.
A woman who is with a violent man is in most danger when she is pregnant. What does that tell us, other than that there is a national diseased attitude towards women that affects all of us, which goes to the central core of her physical being -- the ability to reproduce. What is it about this condition that men simply refuse to admit? Anti-female hatred, sexism, results in more deaths and beatings and violence every year than does either racism or anti-gay attitudes. Yet men refuse to admit or acknowledge this, our society largely ignores it. Is it because men are afraid it would take away all their fun if they can't continue to ridicule and demean women, as part of the "male-bonding" experience?
It's okay with me if gays get married. I don't think anyone, straight or gay, would marry Perez Hilton because he seems like an out-of-control jackass. But for my gay friends, if they want to get married, I'll be the maid of honor and best man, I'll be first to show up at the wedding and last to leave, and I'll toast the loudest and the longest.
But this has nothing to do with gay rights or gay marriage. All this incident shows is that privileged white men, regardless of sexual orientation, continue to ridicule, demean, humiliate women in public as part of the white-male-privileged life in America. I'm really sick of it.