Monday, August 24, 2009
A Cruel, Ghoulish Experiment
I broke a couple of bones recently, had surgery, and my foot has been encased in a cast-boot for over a month.
I actually took the boot off today planning to cut my toenails, remove the polish, wash the foot, have an open-air session on the sofa. But within about one minute I felt like I was going to pass out, it made me so sick to look at my foot. One of my toes wasn't moving right -- it looked weird -- something was wrong -- so I put the boot back on quick. I'll probably brave it again tomorrow, maybe the next day.
I feel like it's an alien appendage, almost like what's-his-face Bobbitt, like they cut off my foot and sewed on another one. I can see the little bandages covering the stitches. It could be a foot from a corpse, or maybe somebody in the hospital who was near-death, they thought "she'll never notice -- she'll be dead by sundown," one of those ghoulish experiments.
The doctors figured I'd either never notice or, if I suspected anything, I'd doubt myself. "Let's see if she notices -- she's near-sighted, drugged, and seems kind of stupid."
It didn't look like my foot. I don't want to get too weird about this, but I think they put someone else's foot on my leg. OH MY GOD, how am I going to live with this type of deformity? And those strange little toes.