Dear President Obama:
I see you're having problems filling the spot of Secretary of Commerce.
Here's an idea: Why don't you try a woman for a change.
You should realize by now that men are incapable of making a decision, change their minds as often as they change their hats, can't make a commitment to save their lives, often have smarmy secretive financial dealings in the background that make them inappropriate in any event, and generally are a lot less smart and reliable than are women.
Just ask Michelle, she'll explain.
Women are half the country, so why aren't they half the cabinet positions? If not now, then when? I say now. Let's put a woman in charge of commerce and get some brains in there to try to salvage this sinking ship.
One more thing: no more Republicans. Get over that "bad boy" obsession. They're no good. They're dirty, dishonest, anti-social, they'll deceive you and break your heart. They're just not that into you. Wave good-bye to the bad boy Republicans, and come back home to the loyal Democrats. We still love you even though you "strayed" with that New Hampshire loser Senator Gregg.